her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
