bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize