hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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