whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
