So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
