i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize