There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
