how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
