Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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