just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
