my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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