was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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