do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
