Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
