Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
