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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

  Fav 5 1032 3855

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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• (518): View more from New York

  it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on

  Fav 2 521 1290

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her

  Fav 2 485 215

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.

  Fav 4 121 200

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.

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