Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So here I am, sexting at work.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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