I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
