He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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