We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
