so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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