why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
