I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
