there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
