NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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