A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
