using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
