he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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