My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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