Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
