hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
