Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's paint friendship bongs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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