If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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