Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize