i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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