So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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