If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
