Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
