I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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