Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize