its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
