Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
