I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
