I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
