do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
