too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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