Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
