I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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