I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
