If that was your dad, he is hot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
