apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
