Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I will die if light touches me.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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