wat bout pragnant strippers??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
