the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
