I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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