Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
