i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
