angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
