That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You took a bar mat shot.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
