Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize