You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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