I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
