He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Less talking, more tequila
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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