He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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