So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
