Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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